‘I really don’t wanna be here right now,’ Charles looking a little peaked whispers to me.
‘Well, I have some of those AAA batteries (aka flu pills for those of you who don’t read his blog…lol) if you need something.’
‘Nawww. 1/3 is bringing me something when she gets here. That’s the only reason why I haven’t left.’
‘For the medicine, or for the sight of 1/3?’ laughing ‘Don’t respond to that… you know how nosy I am…’
As the last few bloggers trickle in, Rashan gets up and walks over to the unlit fireplace quieting everyone down.
‘Hey ya’ll. Thanks for coming this week. I know these meetings can be annoying, but that’s the only way that we can get shit off of our chest.’
‘Or out of their closets,’ James glancing at me with a soft smile.
‘Where some things should never leave,’ Don pipes as he shakes his head regarding last meetings drama over he and Eb.
Rolling her eyes, Eb looks at Rashan, ‘So will you be getting something off your chest this evening?’
Snickering, Stace leans over and whispers to Jameil, ‘That is so not the question to ask’
‘What does that mean?’ Britt, over hearing their comment.
‘It just means that because Rashan has been posting for, oh I don’t know, 30 years, he probably has an incredibly laundry list of things that get on his nerves about the blog world and I don’t have that kind of time.’ Jameil offers.
Giving The Smirk to Jameil for her side bar commentary, Rashan says ‘Look, I’ve been blogging for a while now, and there are just a few things that are getting on my nerves and I figured tonight’s meeting would be a good time to get it off my chest.’
Before he can begin, Eb inputs, ‘Well, can I just say that I get annoyed with you guys? Ya’ll all claim to be smart, cultured, suave, debonair, love the music that we do, write eloquently, and open up to us in a way that they would never open up to some of your significant others. But I don’t think that is a true representative of you as a whole. I think I’m only getting one side.’
‘That’s not me,’ James innerates.
‘That’s because you don’t talk about yourself at all on your posts,’ I counter.
‘I mean, I write about things that I think about and relate to my life. What’s wrong with that?’ James being a little defensive.
‘Nothing!’ One Man supporting James in his stance to not talk about his personal.
Diva says, ‘I don't expect anyone to write all their dirt on a blog, but com’mon, can I get a little info?’
'I coulda sworn we already addressed this last week,' One Man pointing out.
‘Well let's just air it all out. What exactly do you want to know?’ Don inquires looking around the room.
‘I wanna know why we are digressing when I got some shit to express before I got interrupted,’ Rashan interjects.
‘Well, say what you gotta say bighead,’ Diva chuckling at Rashan’s pouting.
‘I just don’t think some of you realize that I have site meter… which means I can see you... when you come to my site (regularly), but don't comment, I’m annoyed.’ And he goes to sit next to Jameil and Stace as everyone in the room nods thinking that gets on my nerves too.
‘That’s it? I came here just for that. Oh somebody better say something good up in here. My dick breath is wearing off and I need a refresher session; unless someone in here has the juice that I’m looking for,’ Lea states as she glances over at Journ. He smiles and mouths later. She responds with a mouthed tease and he laughs and shrugs.
‘I can’t really say I have anything to complain about. I read somewhere that blogging was therapy of the sort. I believe so too. Once upon a time I would have scrambled to my phone and called someone I knew never had my best interest at heart to spill my soul just to be rejected. Just to reconfirm the notion that once again no one cares about me. Then I get on here. See I'm not alone. My outlet...’ 1/3 states to the group, and some head nod in agreement.
Jameil responds plaintively, ‘That’s so sweet….. But I don’t agree. There is so much to be irritated about in this little community of ours. Par example: Get some etiquette. Learn the rules. Repeat after me. Do not’
Group, ‘Do not’
Jameil, ‘EVER!’
Group, ‘EVER!’
Jameil, ‘come to someone else's blog’
Group, ‘come to someone else's blog’
Jameil ‘to publicize your own’
Group, ‘to publicize your own’
Jameil concludes, ‘Class dismissed.’
Rashan adds sarcastically, ‘But what if I have a post that I really want someone to read?’
Jameil giving him the side eye, quiets him with a very very very soft j ‘jerk.’
KB leaves the comfort of her seat with i.can’t.complain and walks over to the fireplace. She waits and makes sure that all eyes are on her before saying
‘THAT F*CKING WORD VERIFICATION SOME OF YOU STILL HAVE WHEN I GO TO MAKE A COMMENT GETS ON MY LAST NERVE. ARGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you.’ with a small curtsy she goes back to sit down.
‘Tell me how you really feel,’ I shake my head laughing at the loud voice that came from such a little body.
‘I get annoyed when women expect you to read their minds.’ Soumy adds.
‘Where the hell did that come from, and what does that have to do with blogging?’ Deja asks.
‘Man- I’m just blogging out loud right now. I didn’t have my customary sex with hot coffee and syrup this morning. Cause you know I’m all about those soft kisses so sweet - I taste the warmth and wetness - I feel the heat - everytime our lips meet EVERY morning, and today just wasn’t that day for me.'
Eb rubs his back and offers a gentle kiss for her blog husband.
‘Don’t do that unless you want your clothes off in 30secs flat,’ Soumy says flirtatiously
Meanwhile, Adonis has been sitting with a peculiar look on his face. As Soumy and Eb lighty banter, he gets up and stands at the fireplace.
‘I think I wanna be done with blogging. I mean, damn, do you really care about an 18-year-old kid who still lives with his family, feels trapped, subconsciously holds himself back from the new experiences that he says he wants so badly in life, smokes like a chimney, drinks like a fish, feels pressured to make a monogamous relationship work, can't make a monogamous relationship work because he's so fucked up in the head that he either takes it too fast or doesn't let the girl know when she's taking it too fast, wants so much more in life to the point that he's gained a slight addiction to playing the lottery weekly, ostracises himself from his friends so that he can get it all together and feels like he's 38 all the while doing it? Sorta...? kinda...? Didn't think so.’
His rant raises a few eyebrows, but no one makes a sound. He walks across the living room, climbing over Jinta and Niga who look stunned and proceeds to storm out. I get up and rush after him.
And this, my friends, is why I don’t write about myself,’ James jokingly adds.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Do it!
'We don't have to have sex' mumbled between kisses as hands wander up and down my upper frame.
'Stop, stop, stop, stop' my hand pushes him away trying to collect myself but not really being successful at it.
'I just wanna make you cum baby. Just let me do that for you.'
That's when I become completely sobered and I stop this scenario that I have been in time and time again for as long as I have been kissing boys alone in their apartment/dorm/car.
All of my friends (and when I say all, I mean ALL) have said to me at one point or another that I should just let them. To date, I have never been completely naked in front of another human being. I recall one incident where my panties were off (while shirt was still on), but it lasted a whole 1min, thus being dismissed as a figment of my imagination rather than a situation of carnal pleasure. Honestly, it was uncomfortable and I didn't get anything out of it; thus fortifying my resolve that no man can bring me pleasure like I can do for myself.
But almost EVERY man that I have entertained or been truly interested in since 18 has harped on their abilities to make me cum. It becomes, almost, an obsession. 'Let me prove it to you. Take 'em off now and I'll work it out. I don't even need anything in return. I just want to give you the experience of your lifetime.' Really? Do you? Wow... such a proposal. What a fool I am to resist such a proposition.
You know what I have NEVER heard. 'I want to make you happier than any man has ever done before. I want to treat you like the wonderful, educated, sweet, Haitian American woman that you are. I wanna be your man.' Most guys don't believe me when I say that. I always point out 'what have you offered me...? That's right... sex only...So how you gonna tell me you don't believe me.'
It's hard. DAMN hard. I had to fight tooth and nail to build the self esteem that I managed to scrap up during middle and high school despite being the only person who didn't have a boyfriend for the ENTIRE 7 years from Pied.mont Mid.dle thru graduation from We.st Or.ange High. Then college hit, and I felt like I had missed the memo. Wha...? I'm suppose to go to your house? I'm suppose to call you? I'm suppose to ask you out? Really? This is the main reason why I have so many friends that I've kissed, or cuddled with. I went in and took what I was missin in my life... but then when they pushed for sex without the relationship, I bucked and lightened the interaction to 'homie' status (removal of cuddle/kissing privileges now). I couldn't do the sex then relationship pattern that everyone seemed to be following. It almost felt like people were backing into relationships rather than taking the time to really get to know the person. And there were so many aggressive girls that I just fell into the backdrop. Most times... the girls didn't even get the relationship and I would hear my male friends speak so poorly of said female of the hour, which further assisted in my resolve to never drop trou without trustin the guy wholeheartedly. Eventually, guys who fell off rather than maintain my friendship would cross my path a few months later (as I became stronger in my womanhood, thus dressin better and walking more confident) and would throw out those tired lines: 'Why don't you call me? Why don't you come over no more? I've been thinkin about you. I miss you' You really miss me? *looking down at my phone* How would I know that? You don't show that you miss me. You just got words. I'm suppose to be moved by that? Really? *throwing up the dueces and makin sure the rocks felt my stomp as.i.walk.away.*
I'm thinking, when I get outta college, it'll get better. Well, I was met by a hard truth. No it's not. Men are just as passive in the corporate world as they are in college. Most date white women (at least from what I see). The rest expecting me to call incessantly. Don't get it twisted, I don't mind calling, or checkin in... but do I really have to be the one who does it all the time?? I've mastered the art of picking up men that I find appealing. And what do I do? I make the first move. I call... I don't mind doing that, cause I made the pursuit. I saw you, I wanted you, I'll pursue. And I did that for awhile. But more recently, no one has really made me want to move, so I've been on the receiving end of the pursuit. I'm not met with the same style. I'm pursued via text message... with light convo and no inquisition as to when he and I might possibly link up. Until Friday rolls around. Then text: 'you gonna be at ant.i.gua, cause I'm tryna see your pretty face.' I don't usually reply.
If we get past all this, and we actually get to a place where I do end up getting to know him as a person and he gets to know me as a person; that is when that trusty line makes it's appearance: 'I just wanna make you cum.'
That's it?!? 'Well, I don't know if I'm ready to be committed' or 'I'm not at a place where I want a lady' or 'I'm just not sure about you and me on that locked down level'... but you wanna make me cum KNOWING that I've never, and understanding that it could quite possibly deepen my emotional tie to you. *nodding head* Ok.. can I just say I have a confused face on right now. I DON'T GET IT.
I understand the whole ego thing; a man makin a woman twist up over what he is doing or did do or could've done or might've done boosts any man's mental and sometimes even gets him off depending on the situation. But is that ALL you want from me? Is that all you want to offer me? And how much do you respect me to believe that that is all I deserve? How can you allow your mouth to slide into the position to even utter such a weak proposition when looking at me and knowing how I am?
A blow to my self esteem. I'm not gonna lie. It is. Because I KEEP getting it. And as my friends laugh and tell me to 'Do it'... I'm softly crying because I don't want that to be all I'm worth. An ego stroke. You pleasured the virgin and may eventually want something more.... maybe... depending... whatever.
*sigh*.....
'Stop, stop, stop, stop' my hand pushes him away trying to collect myself but not really being successful at it.
'I just wanna make you cum baby. Just let me do that for you.'
That's when I become completely sobered and I stop this scenario that I have been in time and time again for as long as I have been kissing boys alone in their apartment/dorm/car.
All of my friends (and when I say all, I mean ALL) have said to me at one point or another that I should just let them. To date, I have never been completely naked in front of another human being. I recall one incident where my panties were off (while shirt was still on), but it lasted a whole 1min, thus being dismissed as a figment of my imagination rather than a situation of carnal pleasure. Honestly, it was uncomfortable and I didn't get anything out of it; thus fortifying my resolve that no man can bring me pleasure like I can do for myself.
But almost EVERY man that I have entertained or been truly interested in since 18 has harped on their abilities to make me cum. It becomes, almost, an obsession. 'Let me prove it to you. Take 'em off now and I'll work it out. I don't even need anything in return. I just want to give you the experience of your lifetime.' Really? Do you? Wow... such a proposal. What a fool I am to resist such a proposition.
You know what I have NEVER heard. 'I want to make you happier than any man has ever done before. I want to treat you like the wonderful, educated, sweet, Haitian American woman that you are. I wanna be your man.' Most guys don't believe me when I say that. I always point out 'what have you offered me...? That's right... sex only...So how you gonna tell me you don't believe me.'
It's hard. DAMN hard. I had to fight tooth and nail to build the self esteem that I managed to scrap up during middle and high school despite being the only person who didn't have a boyfriend for the ENTIRE 7 years from Pied.mont Mid.dle thru graduation from We.st Or.ange High. Then college hit, and I felt like I had missed the memo. Wha...? I'm suppose to go to your house? I'm suppose to call you? I'm suppose to ask you out? Really? This is the main reason why I have so many friends that I've kissed, or cuddled with. I went in and took what I was missin in my life... but then when they pushed for sex without the relationship, I bucked and lightened the interaction to 'homie' status (removal of cuddle/kissing privileges now). I couldn't do the sex then relationship pattern that everyone seemed to be following. It almost felt like people were backing into relationships rather than taking the time to really get to know the person. And there were so many aggressive girls that I just fell into the backdrop. Most times... the girls didn't even get the relationship and I would hear my male friends speak so poorly of said female of the hour, which further assisted in my resolve to never drop trou without trustin the guy wholeheartedly. Eventually, guys who fell off rather than maintain my friendship would cross my path a few months later (as I became stronger in my womanhood, thus dressin better and walking more confident) and would throw out those tired lines: 'Why don't you call me? Why don't you come over no more? I've been thinkin about you. I miss you' You really miss me? *looking down at my phone* How would I know that? You don't show that you miss me. You just got words. I'm suppose to be moved by that? Really? *throwing up the dueces and makin sure the rocks felt my stomp as.i.walk.away.*
I'm thinking, when I get outta college, it'll get better. Well, I was met by a hard truth. No it's not. Men are just as passive in the corporate world as they are in college. Most date white women (at least from what I see). The rest expecting me to call incessantly. Don't get it twisted, I don't mind calling, or checkin in... but do I really have to be the one who does it all the time?? I've mastered the art of picking up men that I find appealing. And what do I do? I make the first move. I call... I don't mind doing that, cause I made the pursuit. I saw you, I wanted you, I'll pursue. And I did that for awhile. But more recently, no one has really made me want to move, so I've been on the receiving end of the pursuit. I'm not met with the same style. I'm pursued via text message... with light convo and no inquisition as to when he and I might possibly link up. Until Friday rolls around. Then text: 'you gonna be at ant.i.gua, cause I'm tryna see your pretty face.' I don't usually reply.
If we get past all this, and we actually get to a place where I do end up getting to know him as a person and he gets to know me as a person; that is when that trusty line makes it's appearance: 'I just wanna make you cum.'
That's it?!? 'Well, I don't know if I'm ready to be committed' or 'I'm not at a place where I want a lady' or 'I'm just not sure about you and me on that locked down level'... but you wanna make me cum KNOWING that I've never, and understanding that it could quite possibly deepen my emotional tie to you. *nodding head* Ok.. can I just say I have a confused face on right now. I DON'T GET IT.
I understand the whole ego thing; a man makin a woman twist up over what he is doing or did do or could've done or might've done boosts any man's mental and sometimes even gets him off depending on the situation. But is that ALL you want from me? Is that all you want to offer me? And how much do you respect me to believe that that is all I deserve? How can you allow your mouth to slide into the position to even utter such a weak proposition when looking at me and knowing how I am?
A blow to my self esteem. I'm not gonna lie. It is. Because I KEEP getting it. And as my friends laugh and tell me to 'Do it'... I'm softly crying because I don't want that to be all I'm worth. An ego stroke. You pleasured the virgin and may eventually want something more.... maybe... depending... whatever.
*sigh*.....
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Memories
Guess who got her car back yesterday??? *BIG HUGE SMILE*
After a month of dealing with this bullshit... I finally got her back and she was such a site for sore eyes... I was so happy to get her back that I drove around for awhile rather than taking her straight home (which I would usually mind due to gas prices, but I got a gas voucher from the dealership to fill my tank so I was chillin). I also got a free oil change. It didn't make up for the fact that they steadily told me my car would be ready when and never was, but it definitely helped...
Moving on... I was working with my 3yr old client today (who actually showed some serious improvement today... FINALLY, the fruits of this tedious labor) when I began thinkin about my own childhood. I started thinking about the things that made it great and why I miss it sometimes... So in true Steve Harvey Morning Show fashion... I've created the
Top 10 Reasons Why I Miss My Youth:
Number 10!
I didn't have to worry about a thing back that. I was fed when I was hungry. I took at nap when I was sleepy. I was always dressed in the flyest gear back that (at least to me). And to top it all off, I had that secret language that only my peers knew about. :Sigh:
I didn't have to worry about a thing back that. I was fed when I was hungry. I took at nap when I was sleepy. I was always dressed in the flyest gear back that (at least to me). And to top it all off, I had that secret language that only my peers knew about. :Sigh:Number 9!
I cannot get down like this anymore in school. I mean, I have been known to sleep or eat in class, but we don't actually take a break from lecture to truly appreciate a good nap time or snack time. Instead I have to stuff my face whenever I can; and be abruptly woken up when I am sleeping because I was suppose to be paying attention. Man, whatever. If we had a nap time, my sleeping would be a none issue...lol
Number 8! 
No one could tell me anything when this show was on because all they would get: a 30 sec to one minute delay promptly followed by 'huh?' I was so incredibly engrossed in this show and whatever book he was recommending for the day/week. To this day, I can still sing the theme song without missin a note... *thinking of that being the first utterz post.....naaaaaahhhh..lol*
No one could tell me anything when this show was on because all they would get: a 30 sec to one minute delay promptly followed by 'huh?' I was so incredibly engrossed in this show and whatever book he was recommending for the day/week. To this day, I can still sing the theme song without missin a note... *thinking of that being the first utterz post.....naaaaaahhhh..lol* Number 7!
Number 6!
Number 5!
Number 4!
The BEST part of my day... RECESS!!!!! I would look at that clock waiting for the moment when the long hand would hit the 1 and the short hand would hit the 3. The bell would ring and a sea my peers would be flying at top speed to hit the swings. Nothing felt like the swings and I'll be damned if I could not stay on that sucker for the entire recess. Of course that was not allowed... we had to take turns... but I did my best to get at least 2 turns during one recess session. It also protected me from the 'hunchin' that was goin... horny children...lol
Number 3!
:Sigh: I don't even know why they make scary movies anymore. Nothing does it to me like Freddy. I mean, I had nightmares for more than half of my life... and '1 2 freddy's comin for you, 3 4 better shut the door...' has yet to leave my mental. I FREAKED OUT when seeing this movie and there has been nothing to date that has reached this level (even tho Chuckie came close...)
Number 2
'Get mad! Get mad!' My brother's words still ring in my ears... He felt that when I got mad, that's when I ran the fastest. That's what we did when we played outside, now that I come to think of it: Compete. We would race, play basketball, football, and tag. My brother always wanted me to be the best. In his opinion, I should have been a track star, but I had little to no passion for running (even tho I did beat all the boys on the block). Man, I still have scars on my knees from all those antics...
And the Number 1 Reason why I miss my childhood
Drumroll Please................
Everyone and their cousin should know about this video. It is the quintessential video representation of how a child feels when the ice cream truck comes around. That feeling... has no words....
Sunday, March 23, 2008
A letter...
Hey you. Thanks for stoppin by. I wanted to talk to you about something. I've been feelin lonely these days. I know I know, I shouldn't…. but I do. I've got some really great friends, and damn if I don't feel great every single morning, kissing the Most High the whole while cause He uplifts me. But knowing that He is beside me, and I smile because he's always beside me, I do feel alone sometimes. I know it's stupid. I shouldn't right…? But I do. Except when you come to visit. I know I've never said anything about it before, but yeah… you've definitely had an effect on my every day. You never say much, but when you do, it always brings a smile to my face, laugh to my abs, deep thought to my brain, and excitement to my stomach. How do you do that?
And when I do want to shut out the world (not answering phones, not going to school or work, and not turning on the television), I don't mind your company, which is not usually the case. You sit there so attentively as I vent about my life or the lack there of and you offer me balance and keep me in tuned with myself. I sometimes hate that you point things out that I never noticed in my little existence, but I know you just do it because you're about keeping it on ground level with me, one of your best qualities I might add.
You know how much I hate leaving my house, but I never have an issue when going to your place. Man, I have so much fun there. In that space, you open up to me and share all kinds of things… I mean you really take the time to give a little of yourself, and I don't think I've ever told you how much that means to me. Your stimulation always transcends as the vibrations of your words affect my brain waves. When I'm there I sometimes wonder, how did I get the privilege to be in the presence of such humor, wisdom, sexiness, and beauty. You actually make me want to drop my phobic tendencies and commit. Wow, even saying that takes me aback…
Yeah… I'm gonna admit it. I think I might be a little sprung on you… but I think you knew I would be. Now you're sitting back laughing at the effect you have not understanding that it's kinda scary for me to be this vulnerable with someone. So now that you know how I feel… what happens now? I've never been here before… I guess I ask you how you feel… Soooo, how do you feel? I mean…about me
Sincerely,
Desy
I know you are wondering who this is to...well, it's actually... to you, my blog fam.
This is so a digression, but: Channel surfing today exposed me to Flava Flav with a slicked up high top fade that was multi colored and glittery and I just asked myself: Virginity for life or sex with Flava Flav? The answer came so quickly…lol
And when I do want to shut out the world (not answering phones, not going to school or work, and not turning on the television), I don't mind your company, which is not usually the case. You sit there so attentively as I vent about my life or the lack there of and you offer me balance and keep me in tuned with myself. I sometimes hate that you point things out that I never noticed in my little existence, but I know you just do it because you're about keeping it on ground level with me, one of your best qualities I might add.
You know how much I hate leaving my house, but I never have an issue when going to your place. Man, I have so much fun there. In that space, you open up to me and share all kinds of things… I mean you really take the time to give a little of yourself, and I don't think I've ever told you how much that means to me. Your stimulation always transcends as the vibrations of your words affect my brain waves. When I'm there I sometimes wonder, how did I get the privilege to be in the presence of such humor, wisdom, sexiness, and beauty. You actually make me want to drop my phobic tendencies and commit. Wow, even saying that takes me aback…
Yeah… I'm gonna admit it. I think I might be a little sprung on you… but I think you knew I would be. Now you're sitting back laughing at the effect you have not understanding that it's kinda scary for me to be this vulnerable with someone. So now that you know how I feel… what happens now? I've never been here before… I guess I ask you how you feel… Soooo, how do you feel? I mean…about me
Sincerely,
Desy
I know you are wondering who this is to...well, it's actually... to you, my blog fam.
This is so a digression, but: Channel surfing today exposed me to Flava Flav with a slicked up high top fade that was multi colored and glittery and I just asked myself: Virginity for life or sex with Flava Flav? The answer came so quickly…lol
Friday, March 21, 2008
A blog dialogue continued...
This is where it all began~ and so it continues...
At this point, Lea is beginning to really get bored because she is sitting on the single couch performing fellatio on her now empty Corona bottle.
‘Ummmm….’ Jinta can’t tear his eye away and he begins to rub my back.
‘Don’t even think about it’ I slap one of his hands and he laughs.
'Come now, I’ll treat you better than Adufé,’ chuckling as he said it.
‘You fuckin better’
Everyone is talking amongst themselves, probably about Lea because she’s beginning to moan at the joy she’s giving this bottle, which echos… because it’s a bottle.
‘Lea, do you and your…uh…friend… want a room?’ James can’t even look in her direction and Diva is ‘rolling on the floor laughing her ass off’ at Lea’s antics.
‘Nawww… I’m straight. I’m just practicing for later tonight since obviously nothing is going on right now.’
‘Well, no one is admitting anything which tells me that everyone is being pretty honest on their post,’ 80 says as he glances over at Britt who smiles in response.
‘But not everyone is posting about their personal life. In fact, when lookin around this room, most of the posts that I’ve read that have nothing to do with what is currently going on in their lives primarily comes from the chromosome gifted ‘Y’s up in here,’ Deja putting out what every woman blogger has thought at some point in time.
‘Excuse me? Ya’ll know all my shit…. well… most of it anyway,’ Rashan says as he glances in my direction.
‘Yeah, I always fuckin write about my every day shit. And I don’t fuckin sugar coat either,’ Adonis adds
‘We know. We’ve read your last post. Still can’t believe you put her gov’t name out there like that,’ Diva shakin her head, thinking ‘so young’
Guerreiranigeriana in that beautiful accent of hers pulled the attention of the men who appreciated her addition. ‘Not everyone has to put their life story in every single post. I mean, there are bigger things in this world and the blog world is a wonderful place to build awareness for some of you less informed Americans.’
‘That’s true, but the reason people read blogs is to get to know you also. What good is your point of view if I don’t know who you are?’ Deja countering
‘Touché,’ Niga concedes. ‘Sorry boys, she does have a point there.’
‘No one is forcing anyone to read. If you don’t like what you see in my posts, don’t visit, or comment,’ One Man’s Opinion finally finding a reason to add to the conversation.
‘But most of us have good blog etiquette, and when someone comments on our page, it’s only courteous to do the same. And One Man, from a personal stand point, I enjoy your blog, even though I don’t always comment. But being curious about the experiences of the mental behind the posts is only natural, is it not?’ I look at him intensely and challenge him to refute.
‘Okay, okay… I guess you have a point there,’ he throws his hands up and offers me a slow smile, enjoying the challenge I offered.
‘Sometimes it is difficult to reveal yourself and not everyone wants to do it,’ Charles talking more to himself than to the group and he looks with eyes unseeing thinking more than likely of his ex.
1/3 gets up and walks over to him, placin a gentle hand on his back and he glances at her, really looking at her, and smiles.
‘But we offer comfort, not judgement. Half the time, we offer humor as well, which can soothe also. What are you scared of,’ Zephi states
‘I’m not scared of a thing. I was vulnerable when I wrote about my love for sandwiches.’ Soumy humorously adds, which causes the room to break out in laughter.
‘Well is there anything that anyone would like to add now. I mean, since we are all here, might as well put yourself out there,’ Eb inquires.
‘So we can be like you? No thanks,’ Jameil replies automatically.
Eb looks at her surprised at the reaction.
‘Nawww, I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just saying, not everyone has something deep to put out there like kissin another blogger. Some of us live regular lives and don’t have shocking stories for days,’ Jameil says thinking of her confession post and the reactions she received.
I nod my head in agreeance.
‘You know you got some secrets so I don’t know why you over there nodding your head like that,’ Roxy calling me out.
‘Who?’ Me doin my mock question thing
‘You, that’s who…,’
‘Me…uh-uh. I’m a virgin remember? I’m completely innocent,’ I put on my most innocent face and look around the room
‘Look, just cause you aint have sex doesn’t mean you are innocent. I’m sure if I gave you this Corona, you would know what to do with it,’ Lea adds, gesturing with the very bottle she had just had a private moment with.
‘Ummmmm… no. Especially not that bottle.’
At this point, the rooms attention is burning through my flesh as they are wondering about what Roxy means. (See this is why you shouldn’t have friends who blog cause they already know all your business….lol.)
‘Please, share,’ Jinta shifts from behind me and takes a front row seat.
I look around and see the curiousity of my fellow bloggers and finally I just get up walk to the center of the room (cause I gotta be the center…lol) and start spewing all of my confessions:
I CONFESS…. I am in love with my homegirl Roxy’s legs. I would be a lesbian for an hour if she’d allow me to lick whip cream and honey off of them.
I CONFESS… I dated my high school choral teacher while he was in the process of getting a divorce.
I CONFESS… he is not the only married man that I've dated.
I CONFESS… I am having a phone affair with a blogger.
‘I KNEW IT!’ Diva stands up and points at Rashan.
‘No, it’s not Rashan, so let it go…’ laughing a little
She looks at him and looks at me. He shrugs his shoulder and I just look at her.
‘How did you know my suspicions?’ Not giving up her beliefs
‘Just cause we’re not having a phone affair does not mean that I don’t talk to him.’
‘Well then who is it?’
‘Now if I told you that, I would be giving you all my secrets.’
‘I thought that is what all of this was about..,’ 1980 adds
‘Look, do you want me to finish confessing or not?’
'Yes, please continue. This shit is good.’ I.can’t.complain says to the room as she pulls out some popcorn from no where.
‘I CONFESS… I hate my aunt and uncle because they haven’t kept in touch with me since my mom died and they know all the things I’ll never get the chance to learn because they didn’t want to share.'
‘I CONFESS…I get blog jealous. When I see someone who has commented on someone else’s page but not mine, I get a little sad, and jealous.’
‘I CONFESS…I’ve kissed a girl.’
‘I CONFESS… I really am a virgin.’
‘I CONFESS… There are a few bloggers that I would fly to visit tomorrow, and no, they are not only men- so get that out your head. It’s just cause I love love love their posts and wonder what a day would be like with them showin me around their city.’
‘And I CONFESS… I masturbate on a regular basis. Thank you for listening to my confessions.’
I go back to my seat next to Jameil and Jinta who have yet to pick up their jaws and as I look around the room, everyone is lookin at me.
‘What…?’ I shrug and smile my third-grade-didn’t-do-it smile.
‘Oh well, you wanted to know.’
At this point, Lea is beginning to really get bored because she is sitting on the single couch performing fellatio on her now empty Corona bottle.
‘Ummmm….’ Jinta can’t tear his eye away and he begins to rub my back.
‘Don’t even think about it’ I slap one of his hands and he laughs.
'Come now, I’ll treat you better than Adufé,’ chuckling as he said it.
‘You fuckin better’
Everyone is talking amongst themselves, probably about Lea because she’s beginning to moan at the joy she’s giving this bottle, which echos… because it’s a bottle.
‘Lea, do you and your…uh…friend… want a room?’ James can’t even look in her direction and Diva is ‘rolling on the floor laughing her ass off’ at Lea’s antics.
‘Nawww… I’m straight. I’m just practicing for later tonight since obviously nothing is going on right now.’
‘Well, no one is admitting anything which tells me that everyone is being pretty honest on their post,’ 80 says as he glances over at Britt who smiles in response.
‘But not everyone is posting about their personal life. In fact, when lookin around this room, most of the posts that I’ve read that have nothing to do with what is currently going on in their lives primarily comes from the chromosome gifted ‘Y’s up in here,’ Deja putting out what every woman blogger has thought at some point in time.
‘Excuse me? Ya’ll know all my shit…. well… most of it anyway,’ Rashan says as he glances in my direction.
‘Yeah, I always fuckin write about my every day shit. And I don’t fuckin sugar coat either,’ Adonis adds
‘We know. We’ve read your last post. Still can’t believe you put her gov’t name out there like that,’ Diva shakin her head, thinking ‘so young’
Guerreiranigeriana in that beautiful accent of hers pulled the attention of the men who appreciated her addition. ‘Not everyone has to put their life story in every single post. I mean, there are bigger things in this world and the blog world is a wonderful place to build awareness for some of you less informed Americans.’
‘That’s true, but the reason people read blogs is to get to know you also. What good is your point of view if I don’t know who you are?’ Deja countering
‘Touché,’ Niga concedes. ‘Sorry boys, she does have a point there.’
‘No one is forcing anyone to read. If you don’t like what you see in my posts, don’t visit, or comment,’ One Man’s Opinion finally finding a reason to add to the conversation.
‘But most of us have good blog etiquette, and when someone comments on our page, it’s only courteous to do the same. And One Man, from a personal stand point, I enjoy your blog, even though I don’t always comment. But being curious about the experiences of the mental behind the posts is only natural, is it not?’ I look at him intensely and challenge him to refute.
‘Okay, okay… I guess you have a point there,’ he throws his hands up and offers me a slow smile, enjoying the challenge I offered.
‘Sometimes it is difficult to reveal yourself and not everyone wants to do it,’ Charles talking more to himself than to the group and he looks with eyes unseeing thinking more than likely of his ex.
1/3 gets up and walks over to him, placin a gentle hand on his back and he glances at her, really looking at her, and smiles.
‘But we offer comfort, not judgement. Half the time, we offer humor as well, which can soothe also. What are you scared of,’ Zephi states
‘I’m not scared of a thing. I was vulnerable when I wrote about my love for sandwiches.’ Soumy humorously adds, which causes the room to break out in laughter.
‘Well is there anything that anyone would like to add now. I mean, since we are all here, might as well put yourself out there,’ Eb inquires.
‘So we can be like you? No thanks,’ Jameil replies automatically.
Eb looks at her surprised at the reaction.
‘Nawww, I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just saying, not everyone has something deep to put out there like kissin another blogger. Some of us live regular lives and don’t have shocking stories for days,’ Jameil says thinking of her confession post and the reactions she received.
I nod my head in agreeance.
‘You know you got some secrets so I don’t know why you over there nodding your head like that,’ Roxy calling me out.
‘Who?’ Me doin my mock question thing
‘You, that’s who…,’
‘Me…uh-uh. I’m a virgin remember? I’m completely innocent,’ I put on my most innocent face and look around the room
‘Look, just cause you aint have sex doesn’t mean you are innocent. I’m sure if I gave you this Corona, you would know what to do with it,’ Lea adds, gesturing with the very bottle she had just had a private moment with.
‘Ummmmm… no. Especially not that bottle.’
At this point, the rooms attention is burning through my flesh as they are wondering about what Roxy means. (See this is why you shouldn’t have friends who blog cause they already know all your business….lol.)
‘Please, share,’ Jinta shifts from behind me and takes a front row seat.
I look around and see the curiousity of my fellow bloggers and finally I just get up walk to the center of the room (cause I gotta be the center…lol) and start spewing all of my confessions:
I CONFESS…. I am in love with my homegirl Roxy’s legs. I would be a lesbian for an hour if she’d allow me to lick whip cream and honey off of them.
I CONFESS… I dated my high school choral teacher while he was in the process of getting a divorce.
I CONFESS… he is not the only married man that I've dated.
I CONFESS… I am having a phone affair with a blogger.
‘I KNEW IT!’ Diva stands up and points at Rashan.
‘No, it’s not Rashan, so let it go…’ laughing a little
She looks at him and looks at me. He shrugs his shoulder and I just look at her.
‘How did you know my suspicions?’ Not giving up her beliefs
‘Just cause we’re not having a phone affair does not mean that I don’t talk to him.’
‘Well then who is it?’
‘Now if I told you that, I would be giving you all my secrets.’
‘I thought that is what all of this was about..,’ 1980 adds
‘Look, do you want me to finish confessing or not?’
'Yes, please continue. This shit is good.’ I.can’t.complain says to the room as she pulls out some popcorn from no where.
‘I CONFESS… I hate my aunt and uncle because they haven’t kept in touch with me since my mom died and they know all the things I’ll never get the chance to learn because they didn’t want to share.'
‘I CONFESS…I get blog jealous. When I see someone who has commented on someone else’s page but not mine, I get a little sad, and jealous.’
‘I CONFESS…I’ve kissed a girl.’
‘I CONFESS… I really am a virgin.’
‘I CONFESS… There are a few bloggers that I would fly to visit tomorrow, and no, they are not only men- so get that out your head. It’s just cause I love love love their posts and wonder what a day would be like with them showin me around their city.’
‘And I CONFESS… I masturbate on a regular basis. Thank you for listening to my confessions.’
I go back to my seat next to Jameil and Jinta who have yet to pick up their jaws and as I look around the room, everyone is lookin at me.
‘What…?’ I shrug and smile my third-grade-didn’t-do-it smile.
‘Oh well, you wanted to know.’
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Fiend collabo
Me and 80 did a collabo (not that he claimed it on his site- but i'll still claim you- cause IIIIIII'm not ashamed of my collabos...lol- j/k 80. I know u wuv me...) about a situation where a man is givin up his obsession with sex for a higher livin- celibacy; versus the response of his sexual obsession...
Please read his prior to reading mine- RASHAN!!!...*mumbles 'never followin directions..' ...lol
A laughable thought, my sweet addict, your abandon of bodily union to follow the concrete lined house of convenance. My lascivious nature calls to her salacious mirror found in the bends of your veins that carries your most intimate impurities to your heart, which knows your true stance. The titillation of my hips as they are crushed and burned by your taste provides that hit and as your eyes roll back, I now you need it, my sweet. Need me and all that I can do for you within that moment. I see that greed in you; even as you deny me, your glance grazes the spread of my thighs and I purrr at its assault. I, sadistic in my desire to be consumed by your abuse, yearn for that unyielding grind of your bone within me. Your mastery of invading my form shows of your dedication to the practice, and yet you turn away? Do you think developing an austere air will wash you clean of your compulsion for consumption? Yes truly laughable, my sweet.
As you begin to feel the incursion of deprivation under your skin, you'll turn to me, just as you've always done. You shake your head, but even now, your hands twist within themselves already itching to carve the curves of my lower back. And as I move, I can see the erection ensue filling with your concocted elixir and I lick my lips ready to drink. Come to me my sweet addict; feast on my form inhaling my mahogany scent and be satiated. And as lust becomes pleasure, you will find love in the intoxicating moment of orgasm where inhibition is inevitable and I embrace you in that state. Why place yourself in destitution when you know you will be in the folds of my bed soon after. Just stay, my sweet, stay as my bedfellow and overdose on our physical synthesis. I promise not to disappoint…
Part II of yesterday's scene will be created and posted on Friday where I am going to admit my confession for Makin the Blog; (don't wanna be late with my assignment)
Please read his prior to reading mine- RASHAN!!!...*mumbles 'never followin directions..' ...lol
A laughable thought, my sweet addict, your abandon of bodily union to follow the concrete lined house of convenance. My lascivious nature calls to her salacious mirror found in the bends of your veins that carries your most intimate impurities to your heart, which knows your true stance. The titillation of my hips as they are crushed and burned by your taste provides that hit and as your eyes roll back, I now you need it, my sweet. Need me and all that I can do for you within that moment. I see that greed in you; even as you deny me, your glance grazes the spread of my thighs and I purrr at its assault. I, sadistic in my desire to be consumed by your abuse, yearn for that unyielding grind of your bone within me. Your mastery of invading my form shows of your dedication to the practice, and yet you turn away? Do you think developing an austere air will wash you clean of your compulsion for consumption? Yes truly laughable, my sweet.
As you begin to feel the incursion of deprivation under your skin, you'll turn to me, just as you've always done. You shake your head, but even now, your hands twist within themselves already itching to carve the curves of my lower back. And as I move, I can see the erection ensue filling with your concocted elixir and I lick my lips ready to drink. Come to me my sweet addict; feast on my form inhaling my mahogany scent and be satiated. And as lust becomes pleasure, you will find love in the intoxicating moment of orgasm where inhibition is inevitable and I embrace you in that state. Why place yourself in destitution when you know you will be in the folds of my bed soon after. Just stay, my sweet, stay as my bedfellow and overdose on our physical synthesis. I promise not to disappoint…
Part II of yesterday's scene will be created and posted on Friday where I am going to admit my confession for Makin the Blog; (don't wanna be late with my assignment)
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
A blog dialogue
1980 opens the door to find Britt, our last guest, standin at the door holdin Coronas and limes.
‘Sorry I’m late’ slight shrug and a sweet smile decorate her face.
‘Not a problem beautiful- just glad you could make it; ripped jeans and all,’ he chuckled.
’80, are you gonna stand by the door all day starin at Britt, or are you gonna let the girl in so that we can get this thing started!?’ can’t complain shouts
Britt rushes past 80 and walks into the living to find a sea of bloggers sitting around with a mixture of liquors, playin a game of I’ve Never to pass the time.
‘Damn girl, it’s about time that you got yourself here. Ooooo- presents!’ with a quick grab, Lea swiftly swipes the Corona’s and with one smooth motion, twists the top off and takes it to the head while everyone watches in…. well… amazement.
Brittney takes a seat next to Charles and he does one of those one armed brotherly hugs that makes a girl feel loved (you know, in that platonic way).
Jameil is in mid bite of the soon to be devoured waffle fry from Chick. ‘Ummm, are we really gonna do this? I mean, I know I said I would, but I don’t know if I can.’
I snatch a fry, just barely dogging the infamous *side eye*, and watch the reactions of everyone in the room.
Rashan looks over at Diva, who shrugs. 1/3 catches Charles’ eye and has a full conversation without a word about what Jameil just said (or so I assume).
‘Look- I didn’t miss out on some dick to be teased by this. We said we were gonna do it, so we better,’ Lea slightly slurred. There wasn’t much that she had ‘nevered’ so her drink intake was slightly higher than the rest.
James, who had been silent for most of the night, finally spoke up,’ I think that this is necessary for us. I mean, I just think that it’s time for us to get real with one another. Some of us are aware of each other, and some of us aren’t; but after tonight, we will have a full view of one another, mind body and soul. So…. who’s ready to begin?’
Don shifts his weight, pulling the attention of the room.
‘Nawww, I’m not ready- i'm not gonna cross that line first.’
‘That’s not what you said last night,’ Eb states just under her breath; however, loud enough for the room to catch.
‘What happen last night?’ Rashan looks from Don to Eb back to Don.
Simultaneously
‘Nothin’ ‘We kissed’
‘WHAT!?’ Soumy looks over at Eb, back to Don and then collects himself a bit.
‘Such a strong reaction comin from someone who is supposedly only a ‘blog’ husband. Or are the feelings there a bit deeper,’ I couldn’t resist inquiring…
'Ooop, raa-tid. Me dun need to hear dis' Roxy tappin into those aged Jamaican roots. I laugh (cause Roxy bein Jamaican is a trip)
‘Look, we are suppose to be confessing any lies/secrets that currently or have formally been posted on our blogs; not talking about love lust and all that is… weird,’ Rashan says lookin between the threesome.
‘Why are you so interested in what is fact or fiction on our posts? I mean, does anyone really care anyway?’
Everyone stops, and looks at Adonis
‘Hell yeah we care. Are you suggestin that you haven’t been honest on your posts?’ Diva’s gaze was piercing.
‘Nawww, nawww, not I. I’m just sayin…,’ voice fading at the intensity of her eye contact.
‘Well someone in this room is lyin about their shit; so who is it?,’ Deja’s voice revealing her frustration.
‘All I know is that someone isn’t bein real,’ Soumy glaring at Eb as he pipes up.
‘Look- it was just a damn kiss, and I haven’t been lyin on my posts. I always keeps it authentic…,’ Eb said
‘Whatever’ mumbled Soumy
‘Hey, hey, hey, don’t get twisted up over yesterday. That wasn’t suppose to happen. Trust, Eb is all about you Soumy’ Don innerated
80 sounding impatient says ‘Ummmm, this is not suppose to be a group therapy session for Eb, Soumy, and Don. Can we focus please.’
‘So, who is gonna admit that their post was not as ‘authentic’ as they want us to believe?’
Everyone looks around at each other- silence hanging thick in the air
‘Sorry I’m late’ slight shrug and a sweet smile decorate her face.
‘Not a problem beautiful- just glad you could make it; ripped jeans and all,’ he chuckled.
’80, are you gonna stand by the door all day starin at Britt, or are you gonna let the girl in so that we can get this thing started!?’ can’t complain shouts
Britt rushes past 80 and walks into the living to find a sea of bloggers sitting around with a mixture of liquors, playin a game of I’ve Never to pass the time.
‘Damn girl, it’s about time that you got yourself here. Ooooo- presents!’ with a quick grab, Lea swiftly swipes the Corona’s and with one smooth motion, twists the top off and takes it to the head while everyone watches in…. well… amazement.
Brittney takes a seat next to Charles and he does one of those one armed brotherly hugs that makes a girl feel loved (you know, in that platonic way).
Jameil is in mid bite of the soon to be devoured waffle fry from Chick. ‘Ummm, are we really gonna do this? I mean, I know I said I would, but I don’t know if I can.’
I snatch a fry, just barely dogging the infamous *side eye*, and watch the reactions of everyone in the room.
Rashan looks over at Diva, who shrugs. 1/3 catches Charles’ eye and has a full conversation without a word about what Jameil just said (or so I assume).
‘Look- I didn’t miss out on some dick to be teased by this. We said we were gonna do it, so we better,’ Lea slightly slurred. There wasn’t much that she had ‘nevered’ so her drink intake was slightly higher than the rest.
James, who had been silent for most of the night, finally spoke up,’ I think that this is necessary for us. I mean, I just think that it’s time for us to get real with one another. Some of us are aware of each other, and some of us aren’t; but after tonight, we will have a full view of one another, mind body and soul. So…. who’s ready to begin?’
Don shifts his weight, pulling the attention of the room.
‘Nawww, I’m not ready- i'm not gonna cross that line first.’
‘That’s not what you said last night,’ Eb states just under her breath; however, loud enough for the room to catch.
‘What happen last night?’ Rashan looks from Don to Eb back to Don.
Simultaneously
‘Nothin’ ‘We kissed’
‘WHAT!?’ Soumy looks over at Eb, back to Don and then collects himself a bit.
‘Such a strong reaction comin from someone who is supposedly only a ‘blog’ husband. Or are the feelings there a bit deeper,’ I couldn’t resist inquiring…
'Ooop, raa-tid. Me dun need to hear dis' Roxy tappin into those aged Jamaican roots. I laugh (cause Roxy bein Jamaican is a trip)
‘Look, we are suppose to be confessing any lies/secrets that currently or have formally been posted on our blogs; not talking about love lust and all that is… weird,’ Rashan says lookin between the threesome.
‘Why are you so interested in what is fact or fiction on our posts? I mean, does anyone really care anyway?’
Everyone stops, and looks at Adonis
‘Hell yeah we care. Are you suggestin that you haven’t been honest on your posts?’ Diva’s gaze was piercing.
‘Nawww, nawww, not I. I’m just sayin…,’ voice fading at the intensity of her eye contact.
‘Well someone in this room is lyin about their shit; so who is it?,’ Deja’s voice revealing her frustration.
‘All I know is that someone isn’t bein real,’ Soumy glaring at Eb as he pipes up.
‘Look- it was just a damn kiss, and I haven’t been lyin on my posts. I always keeps it authentic…,’ Eb said
‘Whatever’ mumbled Soumy
‘Hey, hey, hey, don’t get twisted up over yesterday. That wasn’t suppose to happen. Trust, Eb is all about you Soumy’ Don innerated
80 sounding impatient says ‘Ummmm, this is not suppose to be a group therapy session for Eb, Soumy, and Don. Can we focus please.’
‘So, who is gonna admit that their post was not as ‘authentic’ as they want us to believe?’
Everyone looks around at each other- silence hanging thick in the air
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