Thursday, August 21, 2008

Unfinished things

I think about you
In the increments of time that are whispered between uncountable moments across the expanse of space that ventures beyond the possibility of thought and word.
I think about you
Every conception saturated by flashes of teeth, vibrations of laughter, exquisite moments of...just being where eyes sit locked inside invisible rooms with mahogany walls.
I think about you
Uncontrollably and unconventionally, causing moments when skin shutters and legs cross and lips are moistened; leaving desire to seep from images to flesh.
I think about you
As more than just a yesterday that poured its way into today and seems to have every intention of leaking into tomorrow... and that's a little scary.


And that's all I got... maybe I'll finish this piece (or maybe it's already done.. who knows)

Soooo... cousin left. And you know, I actually liked him more towards the end there. I'm so unaccustomed to having people around me anymore (it's been about 4yrs or so since my brother lived here), but I'm all about it... usually. Well, this was definitely not one of those times. Reason? Well, my cousin was a bit shy. Painfully so. So much so, that he was actually rude. It got to the point where I couldn't take him with me to certain things because he would refuse to socialize properly. My poor friends would inquire, but one word responses can only take a conversation so far and unfortunately, it was not their duty to make him feel comfortable. I also have the feeling that he really didn't want to grow comfortable, so I didn't feel to bad about leaving him behind after a while. Another thing that made things a bit trying: he asked for things last minute. I would give him a run down of things we would do that day, and we'd get in the car, he would explain there were things that he needed to accomplish first. One thing I hate feeling like is a chauffeur... and it happen MULTIPLE times, even though I explained that doing that messed me up (since I was on a schedule with him). Don't let me sit around the house all morning and then right as we are about to leave to make it to some event (eg movie, dinner, social engagement with fam) you THEN tell me you need to take care of something. Why didn't you tell me 3 hours ago?!?! Now we're gonna be late (which I hate) and that is gonna make things uncomfortable (when you are already going to BE uncomfortable because you are shy...sigh... dude, I'm trying to help you out, but whatever...lol). It was kind of hilarious, cause my anger is like a flash of light. You don't even realize you just saw it... I would speak on it in a rather strong discussion voice and then within the next breath, I would be joking (which probably made him acka fool multiple times through his time here). Future reference: 12days is too damn long to visit people you have never met in your life. I don't give a damn that their blood... Don't do it!

I tried to figure out what the vacation would have been like if I were shy. People are always telling me to take things like that into consideration, but damn, why do I always gotta make the extra effort cause I'm social. Well, I decided to give him a small piece of what he was like and I completely shut down. I responded with one word responses and I didn't make eye contact and he kept prying and prying (of course this was after 7 or 8 days of non stop me me me, so he was over his shyness at this point). Part of it was me giving him a dose of himself, but part of me was just talked out. I was sick of being the pusher and so switching roles was a nice change... After maybe 3 questions... he gave up...lol. Some people just don't have the stamina to be aggressive questionnaires...

I did like having fam around, but he's young minded and feels he knows it all (telling me how I should manipulate my laptop... you have only been dealing with computers for 3 yrs sweetheart... I think I got this thank you); as well as being a bit ego centric (loved taking photos of himself... and just himself... no one else...but I don't know if that is a cultural thing or not... gotta go to Haiti for that one).

Speaking of which, I just got my passport (yeh!) Only took a week and a few days. It was awesomeness. Now I am ret to go all around the world.

My back up plans (in case Denmark falls through)... Zero, Nill, None. I need to get on the ball and start looking for a job somewhere. Anyone know of a nice place that I would like to live? I'm outtie

11 comments:

The Second Sixty-Eight said...

Wherever you decide to live, don't let it be Detroit unless the money that draws you this way is REALLY nice! Although it is regentrifying at a decent pace, it still ain't ready for an influx of folk!

Rashan Jamal said...

Yeah, get up on that job search.

what's wrong with taking pictures of ones self? Its my favorite hobby. LOL

flawsandall said...

hehehe your cousin is a trip..

words are to you as a sword is to a skillful warrior in battle..nice piece up there

Jameil said...

less than 2 weeks for a passport? amazing! oh family. they are crazy-makers. indeed. i know mine and still would prefer NOT to be around them for 12 consecutive days.

kit von b. said...

stay in florida so i can have a place to visit dear!

-KB

Desy said...

@68-hahahaha... i actually hadn't considered detroit, but now it's CLEARLY off the list based off of your recommendations...lol

@rah- spoken by egotist...lol

@zephi- smh... i am so happy he's gone; thank you hun

@jam- i thought the same thing when i saw the passport come in... it was great. and 5 days should be the new maximum for family visits...lol

@kb- i'll do what i can, but anywhere i go will definitely be fun and interesting, so don't fret dear

Don said...

12days is too damn long to visit people you have never met in your life. Too funny. And the same way I felt after recently spending an entire week with some relatives who I've never met before. Mofos asked me a million and one questions. LOL.

Congrats on obtaining your passport.

dessex said...

things will work out.... good luck on that job search. Chicago is a great place to live...cali (my home state) is beautiful as well.

One Man’s Opinion said...

You're mean. LOL. No, seriously, 12 days is too long to stay with someone you don't know. Hella long. I think the experience would have been just as bad if he was not shy...I know I could not have done it. I hate having people under foot.

Good job on the passport. So cool. Wait until you get your first stamps in that bad boy. LOL

(vixenchick) said...

i love that poem.

. said...

this piece was so serene. it was like a cool breeze. i am falling in love with your words.

your cousin sounds like a trip i am glad that things got better towards the end, maybe next time he comes up he will have matured even more.