I am an egotist

Or so my supervisor (the male one) tells me.... but he says it's normal from someone my age who is achieving what I'm achieving... I just gotta keep it in check, cause in truth, that degree means shyt. It's what you do in your first year out that really matters.

I'm not gonna lie... I can be a bit self absorbed (HELLO! I have a blog for chrisakes). I sometimes think it's because I try to be as self aware as possible, but when it comes to being a speech therapist... I gotta leave me out of it. How challenging.... I find myself sometimes talking with my patients about me in hopes that I may be able to build a common ground; relate in some way, so that trust may/can be built and intervention can leap across benchmarks. WELLLLLL, that theory is completely a wrong one... and I've been wrong about alot of things in these last few days.

And that is entirely what a girl like me needs. I want to be the best, and I want to learn as much as I can to become the best... but with all of these different therapy styles, I definitely have a hard time seeing/knowing which method is the best or which one would work best for me. I'm truly at a loss. The worse thing about it is that I won't know that answer to the question for years (potentially).... In the mean time, I just kinda have to do my best to be a little less self aware in regards to what makes me tick, and more self aware as to how what I do affects the patient.

so...ummmm... how are you doing? is there anything you want to know? is there something you feel i should work on?....lol... take it seriously or not... i appreciate the read.

Random Fodder

My supervisor went on vacation for 2 days at my internship. Do I get a vacation? Sure don't. But the supervisor I have in the interim will force my independence and thinking skills. He is one who will let me fall and then later let me think about how or where I screwed up; and if I don't recognize my errors, he will guide me there and simply offers me the opportunity to rectify it later. For me... it's a better way to learn- but the supervisor I have is great too... it's just a different style. I'll make the most of my two days in the mean time.

Things are going well with the boyfriend. I realize I couldn't do the everyday bullshit at this point. Initially, yeah, but I needed to spread my alone wings just a bit after 12 out of 14 days of me and him time. Needing to miss him is vital for my sanity... and being single for so long REALLY amplifies that need beyond what regular girls might need. But he's understanding and he is feelin me more than I think I might deserve...lol.

I love being at home with the parental units; but I am counting the end of those days. I want my own little piece of the world. I recognize these are the best years of my life in the financial standpoint (no rent, mortgage, accompanying bills, and grocery purchases); however, it.is.time. I can't do curfew's, asking permission, or conferencing for much longer... I'mma lose it. But the love I got for the parentals runs deep... so although I don't want to live with them... I could get down with living next door (lol). Of course, that will not be an option, but I'm just sayin.

My blog family has become smaller and more infrequent. Ironically, unlike other bloggers I've experienced in my time as a semi consistent blogger, I'm actually ok with the 'every now and then' commentary from those I consider to be fam... and the reduced number of my 'comment' section. The fact that I still get on this computer and write down whatever whenever and visit who I WANT to visit (not who comes to visit me) tells me that I am still being a true to my heart blogger and just doin it cause I still enjoy it. And when I'm done, then I'll just stop posting. No goodbye, no warning.... just a regular post about regular things that forever stays on the top of my page....(ya'll can thank Rashan for that... he gave me the idea to end it that way...lol)

I'm unsure if I'm going to watch this third debate. I've seen the previous 2 and although the second was far better than the first, I feel as though I am so comfortable with my political choice, that I don't know if I really feel like listening to these two men further continue to go on and on about all of their hypotheticals (cause that's all it is until it is put into action). I just feel like I'm observing the longest job interview ever and I'm just ready for some to fill the position already.

Speaking of filling the position... I won't be getting the dream job in ATL... They don't accept CFY's (clinical fellowship year). This is actually a post within itself, but a brief synopsis: following my graduation with my Masters in this profession, my first year or so out, I will STILL need to be supervised (not directly with each patient like right now, but sporatically) until the supervisor deems me to be clinically competent, earning my C's (certificate of clinical competency-CCC). And my dream job does not have someone who could oversee my fellowship year. Personally I think that's bullshit, but whatever.

My dad is a genius. I dropped my phone in the pool on Sunday and was completely discouraged. I had like 50 numbers in that damn phone that I didn't have memorized and no sim card to speak of (cause sprint don't get down like that). Anyway, my dad tells me to stick it in some dry rice. Dry rice? *face* - ok. Well.... my phone works beautifully after 24hrs of a rice bath. I would have NEVER thought of that shyt myself. He makes me feel stupid cause he's got more logic in his pinky than I will ever acquire across three lifetimes. And there is more evidence of this than just this experience, but this one was just another layer of icing to the already sweetened cake.

I'm out. See you soon fam....i leave you with neyo's new joint... i'mma be dere soon yo!...lol

His name is Jennifer

My friends are ridiculous. And NEVER on time! I set up a dinner for about 1o or so of my friends to meet up at the O.rlando A.le Ho.use. I said 7:00-7:30 knowing what I would be getting myself into with the people in my life. I figured the 'on time' ones would at LEAST be there around 8:00 and the 'late' ones would trickle in around 8:45 ish. So the boyfriend got there a bit before me and reserved 2 high tops next to each other (7:30). As we chatted, my 'most hilarious' male friend (joey) and his lady (steph) arrived (8:20). It was so interesting to hear about me via the eyes of joey cause he really put it ALL out there (aka. calling me the 21st century Clai.re Huxtable). He called me out in my mothering nature: correcting people's speech and inaccurate language use (I'm a speech therapist...it's what I do!...lol; but I should rein it in a bit I guess); my blunt nature: essentially being direct with the advice giving rather than sugar coating; and my authoritative nature: quoting 'tell me what happen without all the bullshit- go'... (for the record, I have NEVER said that, but I will admit, I do have moments of being a authoritative... but isn't that women in general?). 2 additional guy friends arrived following this discussion (alex and andy) and conversation evovled from discussions of me to discussion of ucf (our college) (8:55). Meanwhile, the additional table we reserved was taken....twice! (when one got taken, we got another, and then THAT one got taken). I was annoyed that at no point did anyone apologize, but I couldn't really be too pissed because we had plenty of room for the people who had arrived and I had no idea when the additional 3 invitees would be arriving. It can be challenging to get a table reservations for people who hadn't arrived 2 hours after the 'event' began. I figured we'd get it situated when they did arrive. I payed alot of attention to the boyfriend (who was affectionately touching my leg under the table...awww) and he seemed to be enjoying my friends. 2 high tops opened across the way of where we were and we all got up and moved. It was actually a better set up and right as that happen, the prodical best friend arrived with her boyfriend and cousin (9:45 ish). That's when things REALLY got interesting. Conversation got louder and more outlandish (hence the title of this post-talkin about if your daughter was the butch lesbian and your co worker asked the name of your son....lol). It really was hilarity at it's finest. Overall, the night was a HUGE success and I had the BEST time. Of course, everyone ended the night talking about how we should do get togethers more often (which is the usual commentary). Well, the memory of last night is in this space, never to be forgotten or faded...

Halloween party with the sis in law, brudder, and boyfriend tonight.... should be interesting. Have a great weekend fam!

In case you were wondering- A head shot of the boyfriend for your viewing pleasure...lol. More to come I'm sure...

VP Debate SNL Style