I appreciate you

I'm not gonna lie, I love a strong black man who takes command and tells me "I want you as my woman." But to be honest, I haven't met any. Honestly, I haven't. It's amazing, but my good friend, who is the quintessential representative of black male consciousness, always explains to me that it is this city. Orlando, FL has no understanding or appreciation of a woman who is going to graduate school full time (and not in the traditional sense of 35 credits, oh nooo, I have the glorious 75 credit graduate program since I am in a clinical profession, joy to my wallet....) to try to better herself and become something worthwhile; who doesn't take much shyt, and who loves her family (father, step mother, brother) with the aggression of a mother lion with her cubs. Oh no, the men in this city have no idea what to really do with that. Well I find that to be so odd, because my undergraduate years at UCF exposed me to men who complained all the time about the women they were dealing with and how they didn't treat'em right. I couldn't really understand it because I always did. I tried to appreciate people in an abundant and wordless kind of way, especially my beautiful black counterparts, with simple things that could not be mistaken as anything by the truest affection and care of a woman. Didn't really produce anything fruitful, but I never really did it for that. I did it because I always felt that the best way to live your life is through truly caring for another. It's kind of a self taught philosophy, but it does make me feel good, which could be why I choose a major in which I would help and serve others. It was and is instinctual for me to give and love in abundance on a day to day regiman.

But I have yet to encounter that strong black man that looks and me with that look of understanding and tells me 'I want you to be my woman.' It used to bother me alot, but now, it just makes me laugh. Especially when my friends call me the 2000 Claire Huxtable. I'm too much for the wrong kind of person, or so I'm told...lol.

But most times it isn't even the lover I'm yearning for.... It's the friend.