I am not my hair

I want an explanation.

In my short life, I have changed my hair a million times. Never chemically; only just in the ways of appearance. I don't have the A) discipline to maintain a chemical adjustment & B) the desire to change myself fundamentally to be something I wasn't already born as (physically). Truly- I have been the same since I crossed over the threshold of my mother's sacred place- No piercings (not even my ears), no tattoos, and no relaxer.

There was a time when smooth, silk, manageable hair was all I desired (when I first began doing my hair at 10, spending hours to smooth it out...lol). I could never bring myself to beg my father because he never tolerated that kind of behavior and I knew that I would probably get in trouble if I began. 'You ask- I say no- you move on' was more the philosophy that he raised his children to accept. But from time to time, in middle and high school; I would've given my right foot just to have a fresh perm... But no such thing for me. Hell- the first time I wore makeup was to my senior prom. All that superficial stuff was just not on my father's 'what to teach your daughter throughout her life' handbook that he had to create or borrowed when my mom passed. Instead- I was pushed to decorate my mind... with books and knowledge and exercise.

Thus, I lack things like the desire to have that Guc.ci purse, or that P.rada shoe (although, I do like a nice shoe- I just won't spend P.rada money for it).

I will say- I am obsessed with change when it comes to my appearance. It has nothing to do with anything- it's not to follow the trend, or to look better, or anything of the sort. I just like to be different- within a week's time span. The inspiration for this blog actually came when hanging out with a friend and going through old photos and realizing that I have a different hair style in absolutely every event. To me- I treat hair just like any other accessory.. and change it just a frequently. Interesting- men react differently to each hair style I have.

Afro- attracts that earthy brotha who is all about naturalness and authenticity, or has that rasta mental; also attracts that caribbean man who misses what home had to offer. Lastly (and oddly), older white men ADORE the fro. It really fascinates me- there is just this look that they have on their face(s) I can't put my finger on to explain...



Long flow- the every day brotha. Basically, these are the black men that I come across on a daily basis. They know for a fact that this hair does not grow out of my head, but could not care less. There is just something about long hair that makes the every day brotha stare and trip...



Braids- thug life. It never fails. Whenever I get braids, I find myself in a world filled with thugged out brothas that wanna get to know me. What the hell is it? Do I look hood with braids? I don't understand



Short curl (my personal fav)- mr.poetic. There is something about curly hair that makes a man break out in rhyme. After a few days, my curl status changes- thus capri sun (scroll down to the pics) but even that is appreciated. I like poetic brothas tho- cause at the end of the day- they could not care less about hair

But I still don't completely understand it. And I say completely because there are certain styles that men have that I appreciate- like dreads, and the bald gloss...lol. But honestly, your hairstyle isn't what's gonna attract me to you. But I think for men it's different because as I said, with every hairstyle, there is a different man to go with it...

I'm so confused... Oh well- I'll let the sounds of Ind.ia soothe me