24 hours

So Tub asked a question on his post at his chillin in the tub blog and I didn't want to write an epic comment, and I figured that those of you who don't have the pleasure of reading his blog might be interested in what I have to say- Thus a post.

I was born. To be created means to eventually be destroyed; destroyed by thought, disease, time and all things worldly. I know this because I think of the womb that transported me from my previous state to my current. That womb that is no longer with me fore her last breath came a month shy of 20 years ago.

I miss her. I think of her last 24 and reflect on how she walked her day the same as she did every other; nothing special, nothing different. She knew her path, and embraced it. Her love was no stronger the day she left than the day she bore me. Her laugh was no deeper or richer than all those that I have tattooed in my mind from birth til her passing. Her hugs were not closer or longer. They were just as close and long as every other day. Her smile reached her eyes in the same stretch of wisdom beyond anything I could ever hope to understand. And it's through that day, her day- I learned what life truly was about.

It's all about this day. I learned to appreciate an hour, a conversation, deep love, incredible sunsets, mind blowing art, novel worthy love making, an exquisite meal, family, friends who could be family, road trips, side splitting laughter, and every other element that makes a day worth living. I look at yesterday and wonder if I would change a thing about it if I knew that it was my last. No- I wouldn't. Because I laughed with a friend, and loved with all my might, and kissed my daddy hello when I got home, and talked to my step mother in my native tongue about life, and had a wonderful conversation on the phone with someone about nothing, and changed a life through therapy and understanding, and lived it like I always live my days.... like they are my last...

She taught me that. Through soft words and gentle smiles and unconditional love that transcends space. She showed love without a word and expected the same and that’s all she cared about when it came to living a day. And she taught me to do the same- and so, I make sure I answer this question for all who know me each day: ‘How did I show you how much I love you today?’ by providing a small favor, and laughing with a friend, and kissing my daddy hello, and talking to my step mother in my native tongue, and loving from my thoughts thru to the things I do- as if today were my last 24, just like she taught me to….