Graduation and more

Can you guess which one I am?....lol. Those were just some of the girls I graduated with from the speech program. From left to right, Danielle, Nicole, Adair, ummmmm, Christina and me. I took a quick pic with Jackie after the ceremony (her dad is a photo marksman-lol). Overall, the ceremony was too long and too boring except for the moment that they gave a woman who had been murdered the masters degree she had worked so hard for but didn't live to receive (presented to her husband). Truthfully, I think the bachelors is the only 'ceremony' that is worth going to (unless your family insists). What is so funny is that I remember eyeballing the master's hoods when I was in undergrad and wanted to rock one- but as a masters, I was eagle eyein the doctoral robes and am ready to be in those shoes... eventually. For now, I'm just glad it's over cause I'm a bit tired of being the procrastinating responsible graduate student.

Right now, I'm laying on this futon with my parents downstairs and my brudder and sis in law in sandiago,cali (5am wake up call for me- aint it grand bein a chauffeur) and I am just reveling. I don't know if I will ever again in my life have time (and I mean TIME) to just sit around and be lazy, but the time between graduation and when my license comes in is and forever will be the most carefree time of my life. I'm (unfortunately) tied up traveling down south and shopping for apartment stuff; but I'm officially taking a break from that for the next week or so. I'm going to just enjoy doing NOTHING...

Merry Christmas to all!

Coming up for Air

I only have a moment before I crash.

I've been shopping, and traveling, and contracting, and so many other things...

And tomorrow is back to MY NEW APARTMENT! to take measurements for everything. Then I have to be at graduation at 7:30AM! on Tues- shoot me in the face...

Then I have a date on Wednesday with a super cute Blockbuster guy that hooks me up with free DVDs! And possible dinner with friends I've collected through my graduate career for festivities and farewells...

I'm exhausted.

Night night

Done and Done!

I submitted my final clinical hours and met with the graduate counselor for review of my grades today.

and...It's official.

I can now sign my name with M.A. CF-SLP after it from now on....

On to the formalities.

Graduation day: December 16, 2008 at 9:00am

WOO-HOO!

A Sunday Morning to Remember

My sister in law is officially gangster.

Here's the story:
My brother went out of town to visit some friends in Miami and my sis in law (sil) decided to stay home. Well, towards the end of my brother's little vakay, he decided that instead of returning home in the daylight, he would return home in the middle of the night (cause he knew she would be there alone). Soooo, he hopped in his car at 2:00ish am and started the road to home. Meanwhile, sil is sleeping soundly at home. As my brother gets close to the house (at around 5:30am), he calls her to let her know that he has arrived early. Amazingly, she is so sound asleep that she does not hear her cellular phone. He opens the garage, enters the house- which sets off the alarm. This immediately wakes up sil and she flies to the house phone and calls the police, informing them that someone has broken in. My brother turns off the alarm, but just as that occurs, sil opens the window setting off the alarm once again. He tries to reset it again; meanwhile his wife is still on the phone with the police crawling out onto the roof of the garage. She thinks for one moment assessing the situation, and then jumps the 7.5 to 8 feet to the ground below (feet landing in mulch, hands and face landing on sidewalk). She begins screaming at the top of her lungs, running at top speed to the neighbors unaware of her broken wrist, badly damaged elbow, and bloody nose (not broken thankfully). My brother, hearing the screams, rushes out of the house to let his fully distressed wife know that it is just him. Interestingly, the neighbors never come out, but sil hears my brother and immediately feels like an idiot. He panics at the sight of her bloodied face and hands and awkwardly positioned arm. He rushes her inside to clean her up as the police arrive to investigate what exactly happened. Following all this amazingness, my brother joins my sil in her feelings of idiocy due to her inquisition into why he did not call the house phone....

All and all, they both felt a little upset about the whole thing. I on the other hand laughed a bit thinking 'She did WHAT?!'. But in retrospect, if it had been an intruder, she did the very best thing.

All I know is that my sis in law is officially gangster.


So I got a little irritated with the job offer from Palm Beach. She wanted to know every little detail of the offer in Melbourne in efforts to match what they were presenting. The thing is, if I wanted the offer in Melbourne so badly, I WOULD HAVE TAKEN IT. She adjusted some of the elements to her original offer to match theirs... which I didn't entirely mind when it came to salary (there was a $13,000 salary difference), but for other aspects I was a bit let down. Because she's a newly formed company, she didn't have PTO... but she offered time and a half after 35 hours of work. I felt that kinda balanced things out a bit (because the other company was time and a half after 40 hours). She stated that we could negotiate PTO as soon as she had the details of how they did their PTO. She doesn't have a 401K, life insurance, or disability; but she is a growing company and offered me opportunities to develop my skills in multiple settings as well as growth within her company (for promotions and such). She stated she covered health and dental 100% (no cost on my part); but she still wanted to know the percentage they were pulling from my checks to match that (I guess cause of the salary difference- who knows). I am unsure of whether or not I should have informed her of their salary and relocation number- but because there was such a difference I put it out there to see what she would say. She became OBSESSED with knowing how they were doing it, wanting the written contract so that she could review it with a fine tooth comb. I told her I could not, and would not provide her the minute details... I just gave her the overview (which was listed on their website) and told her that truthfully, I hoped that she didn't attempt to try to offer the same as this nationwide company that had far more resources that she (because she would fail- which I did not say). I did say that I wanted her to offer me the best that SHE could offer me and let me compare the differences and what worked best for me. Truthfully, if they are both the same, she will not win and I wanted to tell her that, but I didn't. The perks she offered me BEFORE she became so consumed with knowing how they paid me so much in salary appealed to me just as much as the salary did for the larger company. *sigh*. She is getting back to me today with her formal offer. Hopefully she brings back some of those old perks and keeps true to what she can do rather than trying to match the other company, cause at the end of the day, if their offer was what I wanted, I would have taken it already and no longer entertained her.

PS. Me and the boyfriend had a talk. He admitted to not being himself, trying desperately to make me happy (which makes me miserable) and not staying true to himself. I told he that label really ruined us and it needed some adjusting so that he would stop feeling so pressured to treat me the way he did. He agreed. So...no label, but still working things out to get back there.

Two Job Offers and a Breakup

I went on my second interview yesterday. I really thought that I was going to accept the position in Melbourne... I mean, it's with a friend who raves about it. It has really good potential and I can see myself being financially cool. But this other job in Palm Beach Gardens (Jupiter) is no joke either. The owner (who was the one interviewing me) REALLY wants me, and she's not pulling any punches about it either. I mean damn- what is a girl to do? The blessings are running over and I'm feeling unworthy... but I will work hard to prove to myself that God didn't make any mistakes by showing me favor the way He has... cause obviously, He doesn't need any convincing...lol. All I know is either way, Desy is moving south and all by my lonesome...scurry...lol

In the last post, I kinda expressed the issues of my relationship toooo...ummmm.... well, not accurately enough. I got a bit of clarification on it... but essentially, my feelings haven't changed. I'm not happy even though he is a wonderful guy.

Ironically, my dad inquired about how my boyfriend felt about me moving, and my mother piped up from the couch to let him know that i was ending the romantic portion of the relationship. I explained it to my dad and he didn't understand... He didn't understand why I'm not elated that I have someone who is willing to bend backwards for me. It can be challenging explaining it, but honestly, it is an issue, cause when I do give examples, and really explain it... the people around me understand and support... so I know I'm not being irrational here.

But I'm digressing... my dad then asked me about how he was with his family and his finances... that made him readjust his mentality on me sticking through the relationship. My dad goes right to the heart of the surface stuff and makes that part of a priority... I have a tendency of looking at that later, but I knew that as our relationship continued, his family affairs and finances would become something of a concern... but I won't air it here. All I know is that the break up is happening... When it's gonna happen is still up for debate. It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't genuinely like the guy and think that he is wonderful. He really is.... he's just not for me.

HE's TOO NICE!!!

*huge sigh*

There. I said it.

I know that I'm gonna hear something from those who have read some of my past posts about men and who still actually keep up with my new adapted sporatic blog nature, but I HAVE to write about this.

I cannot do this boyfriend thing any longer.

If I were to look at a check list of things that would make a man great, my boyfriend would clean up. He is absolutely everything a girl could ever ask for. Sweet, considerate, understanding, sensitive, affectionate, employed, fit, and the list goes on. Any girl would be lucky to have a man like him.

But he's too nice for me. The mushy stuff, the 'anything you want', 'how can i make you happy' kinda stuff really is NOT for me. I mean, a girl likes to hear that she's beautiful... but ALL the time?! How am I suppose to feel when I really do make an effort to look beautiful and you call me that... It's just another comment.

And truthfully, I know what a wonderful guy he is. I mean, honestly... He is just the cream of the crop. It's rare to find someone like him.. so genuine, honest, and so willing to please.

But I need something different. I am finally starting to step out of the ideals of what I might want in a relationship, and moving into the things I KNOW I don't.

1 day to go for my internship, 15 days before graduation, and a month or so before beginning some job somewhere...lol.... I'm SUPER excited for my life to finally start beginning... all alone, in an apartment... with no family, no friends.... and just me myself and I.... scary...lol


A damn good first kiss...
I felt the air around my skin shift to give space to my newly developing goose bumps. The shallowing of my breath left me feeling as though I had drowned in an unexplainable pool of anticipation. Dark and murky, my vision was blurred and I couldn't help but claw at myself to make sure I was still here. I allowed myself to become lost in those dark pools of midnight and became further buried in the contours of each magnificent fleck that danced at the sight of me. His first sight of me. Though words had never been exchanged between his lips and my ear, my lips and his ear, our bodies fell in the comfortable dialogue of lustful longing as though it had been rehearsed. I hated the betrayal. He wasn't suppose to know his affect. But the smile that lined his smooth mouth expressed his knowledge of my form and all her messages with a blind certainty. It unnerved and excited me all within the span of my abbreviated inhalation. His scent, so rich and warm, danced along my nostrils into my lungs, engaged in a sensuous tango with arteries and veins, grinding its steps into the rhythm of my heart. As I exhaled, I could taste his dance on my buds and my tongue reveled in the newness of its flavor. He moved himself into me, placing a solitary hand on the small of my back and the other against the bar I rest against.... and before I could protest; his lips introduced mine to the art of contact and with each brush stroke of the tongue, the picture became evident: This was a damn good first kiss....

Fiction by Desy

Fine! I'll do a REAL post...lol

- *Taking a moment to hum Hail to the Chief- neo soul style* - I did the most glorious happy dance when Bobama won.... and in tru Forrest Gump fashion- 'That's all I've got to say about that'

- It's been close to 2 months (the 19th). Thankfully, neither of us are monthiversary people, so I am ecstatic about that, but it doesn't mean I don't keep track...lol. How in all the world did I not push away this man... It astounds me every time I think about it. I mean, I can be rather difficult... and mildly argumentative.... and possibly to anal (double negatives in spoken language that is not surrounded by other typical African American vernacular BOTHERS me.... )
(But maybe I'm cute enough to overcome some of my faults...*giggle*)

- I have started the Twi.light series, and I can understand the obsession with the upcoming movie. These books are about 600 pgs... I've read 2 in 2.5 days, and I'm moving through book 3 with the pace of a freight train...

- I want to have a blog picnic. You know, where some of us are sitting around and just catching up... but because I've been a little sporatic with my reading, a 'blog dialogue' about a group picnic would be tough to pull out of my ass...lol... That and I kind of want a real one. Just to throw my life a curve ball... The routine is killing me.

-I don't understand why you have to dance in a BODY SUIT... I mean... Can you really say that a vid in black and white with you and 2 other girls shakin the shyt outta yourselves is artistic liberty? Forget get me bodied... I need to figure out how to get YOUR body...(well not really for me, but I know there are women out there that feel that way).

- I'm down to my last oreo...The TRAVESTY!...

- I haven't talked to my friend Roxy in a minute... (since a little after the dinner for the boyfriend and friends). The thing is, I felt like I was being a nuisance. Every time I called her, she was with her boyfriend (which is nothing too new), but I hated the breaks for 10-15min arguments they would have, or conversations they would have (adding her cousin) with each other, and me just being the electric device plastered to her ear that she doesn't really acknowledge... It happened twice and that was enough for me. Plus I think I'm getting to a place where I can't see myself being the major creator of plans/phone calls/hang outs forever... I WANNA retire. *sigh* I'll probably break... but I didn't today.

- Interning is outstanding, but I am SO ready to be done... honestly. I want to be graduated already.... As great as it is not to have an 'official' class, it really does feel the same as I get closer to the end. December 16th is approaching so swiftly that when I blink, I'll be there. Whose gonna celebrate with me?..lol

- I feel myself changing and growing... and I think I like it. *smiling*... HAPPY HOUR FRIDAY here I come! What are you up to?

Writer/Reader Block

I haven't been in the mood.... Not really unique in the blogosphere... We all seem to experience shyt like that... Except for the veterans (Diva, Rashan, and the 365-Jameil...). But...ummm... I ain't the one....lol.



Time to get creative: New Beginnings Part II (Part I here)

For most of the evening, they laughed and reminisced about the days of old that held moments of such potent feelings of joy that the fleeting experience left its trail mark. Moments shared by six, but now only remembered by four. She was the quietest that night to no one’s surprise, but the sadness didn’t seem to be settled in her eyes the way it had been when they’d first arrived. Instead, they flashed with light and possibilities, dancing at the stories told reliving emotions that hadn’t been experienced in the two weeks since his passing. Tonight was much like that night five years ago, except Jarrod had been the one corralling the group after losing Frankie. Ah Frankie, who hated it when anyone called her Frances. A spit fire red head who stuck out like a sore thumb. Jarrod had always been the one to give her the hardest time, but she never backed down, which had cause a deep resounding relationship to formulate and which had made her loss hit him with the most severity. For the most part, he had been the strength during those times; telling stories, laughing from what seemed like the soul, being the shoulder everyone needed. But he never seemed to require anything and refused to allow anyone to see his hurt. But she had known. And she had been there, quietly, strongly, patiently waiting until he took his turn to crumble. Eventually, the weight of the world could no longer be bared upon his perfectly chiseled shoulders, and about one month following Frankie’s death, Jarrod found himself standing in front of her door seeking comfort. It was in those hours, days, weeks, that her spirit had been felt within him and she had been able to ease away the edge of his pain with her gentle smile, rambling diatribes, and embracing touch. It was in those hours, days, weeks, that he had found that her love was not only the love of a friend, but so much more and he had finally recognized the potential of what they could be.

‘Hey, Alex and Jersey are asleep. You want to take a walk with me?’ Rocki pulled her out of the mental ravine with a sharp shoulder shake. She smiled her response and they whispered out of the still dimly light living room on socked footsteps.

The air was crisp and sharply hinted at the exquisite cold about to come. Silence blanketed their early morning walk as they took in the beauty of D.C. in the fall all around them. The sun, barely kissing the sky, still managed to push the black away, turn off the stars, and offer a glowing hum for those rise and shine joggers.

‘Did you know that I was jealous of the two of you for a long time?’ Rocki, not quite as blunt as Jersey, always found an interesting moment to air herself.

‘Why?’

‘Because….,’ a shrug jarred their linking arms, ‘well, because you two were just so Monica and Chandler… Even when you argued, that shit wasn’t really an argument.’

She chuckled a bit because there were those times when they had really had arguments. Overall though, Rocki was right. The personality of their friendship had lended itself to their relationship and had colored it beautifully. True arguments were few and far between, but by no means were they anything to be jealous of.

‘Well, I guess we were a bit ‘Friends’ like, but com’on. You know we would’ve killed each other if it hadn’t been for the great sex.’

Rocki let out a rich explosion of laughter and shook her head at such a sentence.

‘You are too much.’

I am an egotist

Or so my supervisor (the male one) tells me.... but he says it's normal from someone my age who is achieving what I'm achieving... I just gotta keep it in check, cause in truth, that degree means shyt. It's what you do in your first year out that really matters.

I'm not gonna lie... I can be a bit self absorbed (HELLO! I have a blog for chrisakes). I sometimes think it's because I try to be as self aware as possible, but when it comes to being a speech therapist... I gotta leave me out of it. How challenging.... I find myself sometimes talking with my patients about me in hopes that I may be able to build a common ground; relate in some way, so that trust may/can be built and intervention can leap across benchmarks. WELLLLLL, that theory is completely a wrong one... and I've been wrong about alot of things in these last few days.

And that is entirely what a girl like me needs. I want to be the best, and I want to learn as much as I can to become the best... but with all of these different therapy styles, I definitely have a hard time seeing/knowing which method is the best or which one would work best for me. I'm truly at a loss. The worse thing about it is that I won't know that answer to the question for years (potentially).... In the mean time, I just kinda have to do my best to be a little less self aware in regards to what makes me tick, and more self aware as to how what I do affects the patient.

so...ummmm... how are you doing? is there anything you want to know? is there something you feel i should work on?....lol... take it seriously or not... i appreciate the read.

Random Fodder

My supervisor went on vacation for 2 days at my internship. Do I get a vacation? Sure don't. But the supervisor I have in the interim will force my independence and thinking skills. He is one who will let me fall and then later let me think about how or where I screwed up; and if I don't recognize my errors, he will guide me there and simply offers me the opportunity to rectify it later. For me... it's a better way to learn- but the supervisor I have is great too... it's just a different style. I'll make the most of my two days in the mean time.

Things are going well with the boyfriend. I realize I couldn't do the everyday bullshit at this point. Initially, yeah, but I needed to spread my alone wings just a bit after 12 out of 14 days of me and him time. Needing to miss him is vital for my sanity... and being single for so long REALLY amplifies that need beyond what regular girls might need. But he's understanding and he is feelin me more than I think I might deserve...lol.

I love being at home with the parental units; but I am counting the end of those days. I want my own little piece of the world. I recognize these are the best years of my life in the financial standpoint (no rent, mortgage, accompanying bills, and grocery purchases); however, it.is.time. I can't do curfew's, asking permission, or conferencing for much longer... I'mma lose it. But the love I got for the parentals runs deep... so although I don't want to live with them... I could get down with living next door (lol). Of course, that will not be an option, but I'm just sayin.

My blog family has become smaller and more infrequent. Ironically, unlike other bloggers I've experienced in my time as a semi consistent blogger, I'm actually ok with the 'every now and then' commentary from those I consider to be fam... and the reduced number of my 'comment' section. The fact that I still get on this computer and write down whatever whenever and visit who I WANT to visit (not who comes to visit me) tells me that I am still being a true to my heart blogger and just doin it cause I still enjoy it. And when I'm done, then I'll just stop posting. No goodbye, no warning.... just a regular post about regular things that forever stays on the top of my page....(ya'll can thank Rashan for that... he gave me the idea to end it that way...lol)

I'm unsure if I'm going to watch this third debate. I've seen the previous 2 and although the second was far better than the first, I feel as though I am so comfortable with my political choice, that I don't know if I really feel like listening to these two men further continue to go on and on about all of their hypotheticals (cause that's all it is until it is put into action). I just feel like I'm observing the longest job interview ever and I'm just ready for some to fill the position already.

Speaking of filling the position... I won't be getting the dream job in ATL... They don't accept CFY's (clinical fellowship year). This is actually a post within itself, but a brief synopsis: following my graduation with my Masters in this profession, my first year or so out, I will STILL need to be supervised (not directly with each patient like right now, but sporatically) until the supervisor deems me to be clinically competent, earning my C's (certificate of clinical competency-CCC). And my dream job does not have someone who could oversee my fellowship year. Personally I think that's bullshit, but whatever.

My dad is a genius. I dropped my phone in the pool on Sunday and was completely discouraged. I had like 50 numbers in that damn phone that I didn't have memorized and no sim card to speak of (cause sprint don't get down like that). Anyway, my dad tells me to stick it in some dry rice. Dry rice? *face* - ok. Well.... my phone works beautifully after 24hrs of a rice bath. I would have NEVER thought of that shyt myself. He makes me feel stupid cause he's got more logic in his pinky than I will ever acquire across three lifetimes. And there is more evidence of this than just this experience, but this one was just another layer of icing to the already sweetened cake.

I'm out. See you soon fam....i leave you with neyo's new joint... i'mma be dere soon yo!...lol

His name is Jennifer

My friends are ridiculous. And NEVER on time! I set up a dinner for about 1o or so of my friends to meet up at the O.rlando A.le Ho.use. I said 7:00-7:30 knowing what I would be getting myself into with the people in my life. I figured the 'on time' ones would at LEAST be there around 8:00 and the 'late' ones would trickle in around 8:45 ish. So the boyfriend got there a bit before me and reserved 2 high tops next to each other (7:30). As we chatted, my 'most hilarious' male friend (joey) and his lady (steph) arrived (8:20). It was so interesting to hear about me via the eyes of joey cause he really put it ALL out there (aka. calling me the 21st century Clai.re Huxtable). He called me out in my mothering nature: correcting people's speech and inaccurate language use (I'm a speech therapist...it's what I do!...lol; but I should rein it in a bit I guess); my blunt nature: essentially being direct with the advice giving rather than sugar coating; and my authoritative nature: quoting 'tell me what happen without all the bullshit- go'... (for the record, I have NEVER said that, but I will admit, I do have moments of being a authoritative... but isn't that women in general?). 2 additional guy friends arrived following this discussion (alex and andy) and conversation evovled from discussions of me to discussion of ucf (our college) (8:55). Meanwhile, the additional table we reserved was taken....twice! (when one got taken, we got another, and then THAT one got taken). I was annoyed that at no point did anyone apologize, but I couldn't really be too pissed because we had plenty of room for the people who had arrived and I had no idea when the additional 3 invitees would be arriving. It can be challenging to get a table reservations for people who hadn't arrived 2 hours after the 'event' began. I figured we'd get it situated when they did arrive. I payed alot of attention to the boyfriend (who was affectionately touching my leg under the table...awww) and he seemed to be enjoying my friends. 2 high tops opened across the way of where we were and we all got up and moved. It was actually a better set up and right as that happen, the prodical best friend arrived with her boyfriend and cousin (9:45 ish). That's when things REALLY got interesting. Conversation got louder and more outlandish (hence the title of this post-talkin about if your daughter was the butch lesbian and your co worker asked the name of your son....lol). It really was hilarity at it's finest. Overall, the night was a HUGE success and I had the BEST time. Of course, everyone ended the night talking about how we should do get togethers more often (which is the usual commentary). Well, the memory of last night is in this space, never to be forgotten or faded...

Halloween party with the sis in law, brudder, and boyfriend tonight.... should be interesting. Have a great weekend fam!

In case you were wondering- A head shot of the boyfriend for your viewing pleasure...lol. More to come I'm sure...

VP Debate SNL Style